Closer
by Mercs2Girl
Summary: Leaving the Arcadia for the safety of the survivors, Alice regrets her decision about leaving the woman she loves. Faced with death, Claire debates taking the easy way out. Will Alice ever find her? Will Claire wait any longer? Or will it be far too late?
1. Flickering Hope

**A/N: How I was able to write this sad story on Christmas beats me. But enjoy this darker, twisted sense of how the apocalyptic world of Resident Evil could play out. Yes, this is an Alice/Claire fiction, and yes, it is dark and depressing. I warn you now. This is not fluff or sap. This is hard, nitty gritty stuff. Enjoy, and please read and review. **

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><p><span>Closer<span>

**Chapter One: Flickering Hope**

_Alice:_

What else was left here? There was nothing, no one left but me. The world was still an empty wasteland, barren of any other life forms besides the occasional crow, or dog. But even then, those were few and far between. I was the lone wanderer; lost in her own intentions. Why was I still here? There was no point. Everyone I had known was dead, or assumed to be dead. Everyone except…Claire.

I couldn't even think about her name without feeling a slight well of old emotions building up in the back of my throat. I had left for the simple reason that Umbrella was going to harm people in order to get to me. Sure, we had survived the attack on the Arcadia, barely, and had landed in Seattle for a while. I couldn't stay. Not after that. I was putting two thousand people in danger, and for what? A chance to be happy? A chance to love? No. Not in this world. I had already put Claire and the others in danger more times than I could count. I already had guilt seeping into my soul with every minute of my existence in the apocalyptic world. It was my fault. If I had been more careful, then Spence never would've been able to spy on us, and let the virus loose. Umbrella would've been exposed, but then, I never would've met Claire. Was it selfish to want it that way?

She was always the selfless one. Always looking out for other people, putting them before herself whether it was for food, or her own safety. The woman was dedicated, reckless, and strong. I missed her in so many ways. Even from the way she would glance at me across the fire, to the way we had made love. Hard and fast, just in case we were taken by surprise and attacked. I missed her touch; I missed everything about the woman. Step after step, I took them painfully, memories being the only things I could hold onto.

Day in, day out. Night came as always, the moon high in the sky among the stars. I wondered if maybe Claire was looking up at the same thing. I wondered if she even remembered me. She had just started to recall everything between us when we got to the ship. If only her brother hadn't been there by her side, we could've shared another moment together. I missed the days back in Nevada where we could stay the night in the bright yellow Hummer truck, lock the doors, and just have at each other like long lost lovers. Sitting alone in the cold wastelands, I kept my knees tucked to my chest in a pathetic attempt for self-comfort. I hadn't encountered anything in the past five years. The cities were picked clean of the undead. Whether it was from scavenging crows, or survivors who cleaned up well with limited ammunitions, I wasn't sure. Whatever the reason, there wasn't much left to do, and there certainly wasn't anything to find. Or anyone. The slight hope that I would one day find Claire was soon fading. It had been five years; if she was still alive, it would be a miracle. If she wasn't alive, which was more likely, I'd at least like to find her body. As morbid as it sounded, at least then I'd finally be at ease. The mere fact that her whereabouts were unknown was what drove me to the edge. I had to find her, I just had to.

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><p><em>Claire:<em>

Five years. That was how long ago the incident on the Arcadia had happened. Two years ago, my brother died. He fell sick to something that wasn't the T-Virus, and died when we were living in Alaska in a colony that the survivors and I had founded and built. Six months ago, I walked into my cabin to find K-mart clutching onto my Glock-17, a bullet lodged in her skull. A part of me died that day along with her. All that time, K had been her happy, smiling self. I never suspected she wanted to die when she was doing so well, when we were doing so well. People had gotten sick with the flu and other illnesses that we didn't have vaccines for. There was nothing we could do but hope. The older people of the survivors had long past, and the young ones had grown up in five years' time. One couple even managed to have a baby. But, along with the others we had lost in the past, there was nothing to sustain them. Food was minimal, and sometimes the mere cold of the winter killed them. Death was ever present, looming over us in the grey Alaskan sky with his scythe, ready to take more lives from us all.

Five years. I couldn't believe it. I had buried every single one of those two thousand survivors from the Arcadia. If I had known that was going to be our fate, I never would've come back to Alaska. Everything but the infected was the cause of death among the colony. Graves littered the edge of the forest, marked first with crosses, but as more and more died, I ran out of things. Most are marked by stones, or plants even. K-mart…she was buried by a large pine tree so I'd be able to remember the spot exactly. She had been one of the last ones to survive, but after the small, young family perished from some disease, she couldn't take it anymore. She had made sure to use a magazine with only two bullets in the chamber. Maybe she had saved it for me. I considered it too. After all, there was nothing left. No one was around, and the world as I had known it was gone. But there was one reason I didn't blow my brains out; Alice.

I knew when she told me she was leaving that there was no stopping her. She was more stubborn than I was, and that was saying something. She knew she had to leave for the fact that she didn't want to see us get harmed by Umbrella because of her. We fought off the assault, barely, and lived to tell the tale to any other survivors we had found along the way up the coast. But as we hit Seattle, I watched her pack her ever present shotguns with rolled up coins for shells. She was determined to leave, and even as I tried to ask her to stay, she couldn't even look me in the eyes. I knew she was hurting, as was I. But that was how it went. That was how she had done it with Carlos back when the world had first ended. She came back eventually, and deep down, I had the hope that even now after five years, she'd still come home. It was weak hope, one that was barely keeping my sanity in check.

I sat on the porch of the cabin I used to reside in. After K-mart had ended her own life, I couldn't bring myself to go back inside, and instead slept in another cabin here and there, or if it was warm enough, I slept outside most nights. There was no wildlife to be heard, and only the wind sang occasionally. The stars shone bright, glittering in the azure sky. I wondered if Umbrella had ever caught up to Alice. If they did, what did they do to her? Kill her? Experiment on her some more? Or maybe she was out there. Maybe she was okay. Maybe she was looking for me. If she was alive, I had the faintest flicker of hope that maybe she hadn't forgotten me. Sighing, I curled up on the porch floor boards. Alone again. I was beginning to wonder just how much longer I could go on for. How much longer could I wait for her?


	2. Promises of Lies

**A/N: Yes.. I killed off K-mart. Deal with it. Claire needed to lose all that she cared about in her life in order to make some decisions later on. Please keep reading and reviewing!**

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><p><strong>Chapter Two: Promises of Lies<strong>

_Alice:_

__Another morning came, the sun rising in the sky. It wasn't particularly bright, but it lit the landscape up enough to get on the move. I had no vehicle; gasoline was no longer a commodity since vehicles deteriorated to rust, and became nothing more than decrepit chunks of metal left to die at the sides of the roads. I had grown accustomed to walking day in and day out. Sometimes I zoned out, day dreaming of a better life, just putting one foot ahead of the other. I wandered in circles sometimes, not knowing where to go. There was no place to really go. I figured I had travelled across the United States and back again without even realising it. Places I had always wanted to see when I was younger were gone. The desert had spread over the mainland, engulfing everything in its wake. It all looked the same, and half the time I felt like I had gone nowhere at all.

The wind came yet again, and I wished I had kept the scarf from back in Nevada. At least then the grains didn't get embedded in my face and eyes. Closing them for a moment, I walked off the main drag of a highway, and into a small gas bar. There wasn't anything left there besides the basic structure with the overhang and the convenience store. The windows were blown out, and the door creaked eerily in the breeze. The sign read "Arizona's finest". Well, that solved the issues of where I was.

It felt like I had started over, and come full circle where I started on the west coast, made it to the east, and then turned around and came back over the period of the last five years. At first, I avoided Umbrella's satellite trajectories like I did years ago. But after the watch battery died, I let it go. Whatever would happen would happen. But nothing ever came out of it. No one came for me. I had almost been hoping for some kind of human contact, good or bad, but my hopes had died for that. Walking into the gas bar, I found a stool in the corner, tipped over. Resetting the thing, I sat down for a moment, collecting my thoughts as the windstorm outside picked up, sand flying through the air. There wasn't much left in here besides flat grey walls, and turned over tables and shelves. Everything was bare. I shifted in my seat, wishing I hadn't kept the black pieces of clothing. A layer of grimy sweat covered my skin. I had let my hair grow out, reaching my shoulders. It had gone a shade of light brown now, being back in the sun once more. I half expected it to go back to blonde eventually. I sighed, watching the sand blow by the front of the store. The whole night I had been thinking about Claire. Sure, off and on, I'd thought about her, but never like this. I was pining for her. I missed her company. I'd rather lose a limb if I knew I could eventually be with Claire again.

Once the storm past, I continued my never ending trek. I wasn't sure what I was going to find, but deep down, I knew the one place I had been avoiding all this time due to the memories behind it, was Alaska itself. I often wondered if Claire had taken the others back to it. After all, it was free from infection. That much I knew to be true. Trudging through more sand, I looked to the sky. The sun was heading towards the west. I estimated that it was near three in the afternoon. Turning, I started walking up the highway towards the north. As much as the original Arcadia was a lie, I refused to believe that finding Claire would be one too.

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><p><em>Claire: <em>

Waking up on the porch, my back was stiff and sore, and the rest of my joints felt off. It was never the greatest idea to sleep on the flat wood of the cabin's porch, but at the same time, I needed something to remind me that I was still human, that I could still feel pain. After everyone had died, for a long time after, I felt empty, just a hollow shell of my former self. Even back in Nevada, I felt more alive. At least then, I had people to talk to. Half the time now I talked to myself. There was no one else here to think me insane, no one to judge, no one to converse with and no one to love or care for. It was a lonely world up in the cold north. Winter was coming again; I could feel the change in the air.

That would mean I'd have to settle for one of the abandoned cabins for warmth in order to keep myself from getting hypothermia. Snow would settle over the land in a white, suffocating blanket. For food, I'd settled on eating anything I could find, if I ever felt hungry, which wasn't a lot these days. Bushes of berries existed, ones that weren't poisonous. They lasted, even dried up for weeks on end. Other things I scavenged for were plants, and sometimes small animals like squirrels. I had traps set with sticks holding up rocks, and sometimes they worked. I usually got a squirrel here and there once a week or so. I never saw the little bastards out in my treks to the woods, but obviously they still existed. So maybe I wasn't completely alone. Walking out and about, I checked my traps every morning. Today I found one. It was a little hard from the cold air over night, but a small fire could defrost the thing.

Settling at the centre of the cabins, we used to have a large fire pit with lots of wood built up, and rocks and old logs to sit on. I had the now blackened squirrel on the end of my knife, roasting it over the little fire I managed to start with the small flint rocks I had left. Sitting here, I imagined having everyone back again, eating a meal of deer. Smiles were in abundance, and the chatter filled the night air along with the cackles of the fire. It was a good memory, one I was glad to have kept all this time. Though, even back then, I wished Alice could've been with us. She would've been happy to know that things were okay, that people were happier thanks to her suggestion about Alaska. I know the first time around, Arcadia had been a lie, but the land of Alaska was still ever so promising. If only I could see Alice's 'I told you so' smirk again, or the way her piercingly blue eyes twinkled in the moonlight. I could picture her in that Russian army coat, sitting on the log across from me, cleaning her guns or blades as she always did every night. We could've been happy together. We could've…been in love.

At first, it was a rocky start when we met. I had seen the unbelievable. The woman I later found out was Alice had controlled fire with some kind of mental telekinesis. Whatever Umbrella had done to her, it was not normal. Hell, she even admitted to being scared of herself. I didn't want her around. But that night by the fire, we had started to talk, and before I knew it, I found myself attracted to Alice then. She felt the same way, and for the few nights that we were together, they were spent in the back of my old Hummer. The sex had always been quick. We didn't want to get caught with our guard down. I missed the feel of her calloused hands against my skin, her hot breath pulsing against my ear as she whispered into it. For a moment, I could close my eyes, and see her face in my mind, the expression one of the utmost pleasure. Setting the remainder of the brunt squirrel down on the grass, I let my own hand run over my chest, craving Alice's touch like nothing else. I wanted her to be here, I wanted to make love with her again. Eyes shut tight, I tried to pretend my own hand was the brunette's, sliding across my torso, down to my waist. It wasn't working. I needed her own touch. With my eyes shut so tightly, I felt tears pinched out from under my eyelids, rolling down my cheeks. Even when K-mart had died, I couldn't cry. Not with other people around. But now, with no one left but the sounds of the breeze and the cackles of the fire, I let them fall, and I let them fall hard. Alice had promised she would come back, but I was so tired of waiting. A week. That was all I was going to give her.


	3. Lost in a Nightmare

**Chapter Three: Lost in a Nightmare**

_Alice:_

Every day was much the same. I walked for as many miles as I could during the daylight, and hell, sometimes I even walked through the night. I hadn't encountered any of Umbrella's bio-organic weapons in the past two years and regular undead in the past five. I hadn't found any ammo either, but the fact about not finding any infected defeated the need for more ammunition. I was the lone wonderer. Maybe I was the last person left, and maybe that was my punishment for letting it all happen. Worthy punishment, I thought. Change my body to the point where I can't die and leave me here for my soul to rot away into nothingness. I wasn't sure how I still kept my sanity in check. Most ordinary people would've lost it by now, and yet, I felt still the same.

I was now walking north. If Claire was going to be anywhere, it would have to be Alaska. That was the one place we knew was safe, and I knew that Claire would want the other survivors to be safe too. She was selfless like that, always putting everyone ahead of herself. I argued with her a few times about when she was going to do something for herself for once. That hadn't gone over too well. That was our first fight. A few after that were about decisions for the survivors and the convoy. Other than that, for our circumstances, we had a pretty good relationship. It was a first for me. My relationships before from what I remember were not that great. Spence was a prime example, and even then, that was forced and arranged upon us. We tried to have a go at it, and look where it got me. It was something I regretted every minute.

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><p>As the day progressed on, I had walked farther than usual, getting to the border of Arizona State. Memories began flooding back as I crossed the sands, sun setting in the west ahead of me. Las Vegas stood ten miles from where I had finally camped for the night, and I couldn't help but to think of Claire and the others. The fact that so many people had died with the attack from the super undead was a painful one. I often wondered if I hadn't been a part of the convoy at the time, how many people would've died then. It probably would've been more, if not the entire troupe of people, including Claire. Even if I hadn't shown up when the infected crows attacked, Carlos would've died then and there.<p>

Carlos. I missed him too. He and I had gone way back in time, even before the outbreak in Raccoon City. From what I could barely remember, we had been friends. Maybe more than friends. Leaving after he and Jill helped me escape from the Detroit facility was hard for me. Mostly because Jill went from admiring me, to hating me over something I had no control. Angie was dead because of Umbrella, not me. They used me, but she never saw it. Seeing her again on the Arcadia, under Wesker's control was not a pretty sight. I wondered if she was still alive, and if she now knew what it felt like to have no control over her body like I did back then. Finding Carlos in Nevada with the convoy had been one crazy miracle, and what he did for us, I couldn't thank him enough. His death had held meaning. But the others? They didn't stand a chance. Along with the plague of the T-Virus, death followed suit, consuming everyone around whether they tried to live or not. I saw houses where the occupants had simply shot themselves to end it then and there. At least then, their deaths were quick, and relatively painless if the gun was aimed correctly for the spinal cord.

I had even debated it once or twice along the way. One quick shot from the Smith and Wesson, and it'd be all over. Whatever afterlife was out there, I wanted to be there instead of here. There was nothing here but a wasteland of what was formerly known as civilization. Over the years, my powers had come back. I wasn't sure exactly how, though my theory went back to when Bennett had stabbed me in the arm with a scalpel on the Arcadia. I thought it might have been the same one that sliced Wesker's face. If it was, his blood would've been so tainted with the virus that even a slight contamination of bodily fluid would bring the virus back. I had no need to eat, or sleep, or anything that even felt remotely human. Any injuries I sustained simply went away. Sprains and strains faded within hours. Cuts and bruises in minutes. Breaks took a bit longer; maybe half a day at most. Half the time, I felt like an immortal god stuck in a lifeless and lonely purgatory left to their own devices until eventually rotting away into a mindless being.

I didn't even bother with a fire this time, arms crossed over my chest as I propped myself up against a few rocks at the side of the highway. The wind had died down, and for once, I tried closing my eyes to sleep, easily falling into a pit of darkness. I guess I needed sleep after all.

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><p><em> "Alice! Alice, help me! Please!" Claire's voice echoed through the sand-covered remains of what was once called Sin City. Alice turned on her heel, hearing the redhead screaming out in pain. She left one kukri blade lodged in one of the undead's skull, the other dripping blood from the curve of the blade. She hurried to where Claire had been stuck wrestling with three of the infected, all trying to take a bite out of her. Alice then grabbed her Mossberg shotgun off the holder on her back and turned to fire it at Claire's attackers before she was wounded, but as she raised her arm to fire, she froze. Feet planted in the sand, her eyes went wide, and she couldn't control her body. Claire's cries and grunts came to the blonde's ears, but as hard as she tried, Umbrella had taken control of her mind again. The redhead punched one of the infected back, but it wasn't enough to continue with the other two who were craving her flesh. She had run out of ammo in the Glock-17, and the rifle was back in the Hummer. She turned her head to Alice again, olive hues begging to be saved. "Help me, Alice!" She begged again, barring her arms up to try and fight the two heavy undead off of her. She however was not successful, and Alice remained still like a statue. She couldn't move her gaze either, and was soon forcibly made to watch one of the undead finally get in close and take a chunk out of Claire's neck. Blood gushed out onto the sand. Clearly, the monster had gone for the carotid artery. Gushing blood, Claire soon lost consciousness, red pooling around her body as the infected in the blue jumpsuits soon began to gorge themselves on her flesh. Alice finally regained her control, but it was far too late.<em>

_"Claire!" Alice called, running to her side, kicking the two zombies off of the redhead with force. But it was far too late. Olive green eyes left wide open, her body limp. Claire Redfield was dead…_

I jumped awake, grabbing my gun, panting rapidly. I was met with rolling tumbleweed and some sand in the breeze. It had just been a nightmare. A terrifying one. Lying back against my blanket roll, I soon realised why I chose not to sleep. The nightmares alone scared me from doing so.

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><p><em>Claire: <em>

Eventually, the fire in the pit went out when the moon was high up in the sky, providing an eerily blue light down upon the earth. Curling up, I decided the cold surface of the dirt was better for my aching back than the wooden porch deck again. I watched the smoke curl up into the air from the ashes, and slowly, drifted into sleep.

_ It was day time in the desert, Claire stood back, leaning against the prominent yellow SUV that she had called dibs on when they found it back in California. K-mart was off with Mikey, Carlos on watch with LJ, and the others were soon settling down for the day. It was much too hot to have the vehicles running, let alone to try and get anywhere soon. This left the redhead to ponder, and keep gazing towards the blonde stranger known as only Alice. _

_ She had come under harsh circumstances after losing half the convoy from an attack by infected crows. If it hadn't been for Alice's appearance, Claire figured the entire convoy would be dead. She had thanked the woman, briefly, and the two had talked. She was scared of herself, believing that people died around her. Claire felt the same. Hell, she had just lost twelve people under her watch. Now, Alice was sitting off to herself, finding shade under the gas bar. Claire had nothing better to do, and as much as she didn't want to try and make the effort to get to know this stranger, she decided to go for it anyway._

_ "Hey." Claire said, sitting down against the gas pump beside the blonde in the duster coat. She turned her gaze to meet the redhead's, and smiled just a little._

_"So, it seems you're not afraid of me."_

_"Why would I be?"_

_"Not even after what happened?"_

_"No. You probably prevented the rest of our deaths here."_

_"Everyone else thinks I'm some kind of monster."_

_"I'm not like everyone else."_

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><p><em> Silence fell between the pair as they both looked away from each other, peering off into the distance. "How do you know Carlos?"<em>

_"He and I…we go way back. Escaped Raccoon City together…" Alice glanced to her left again. "Why?"_

_"Just wondered. You two seem close."_

_"We are."_

_"Right." Claire said curtly. She then took off her green ball cap and began fiddling with it out of habit when she was nervous. She wasn't sure entirely as to why she was nervous, but there was something about the other woman that had her anxious. Maybe it was the fact that she herself didn't know what she was, or what Umbrella had over her. Maybe it was the fact that Claire didn't trust her, or maybe it was the fact that she felt challenged. This was her convoy; no one was going to change that fact. _

_ "Claire?" Alice spoke suddenly, and the convoy leader turned sharply to look at her, causing a crick in her neck._

_"Ow…what?"_

_"You uh…you okay?"_

_"It's just a crick, it's fine." Claire held her head turned a little, rubbing her neck. "What did you want to say?"_

_"I know we just met but…I can tell by the way you're trying to be friendly here that you feel that your convoy's threatened by me. I'm telling you, that's not my intention at all. I happened to find you, and it happened to be Carlos was here. Other than that…I'm not staying for long."_

_"Alice, I…" Claire sat up straighter with a huff. "I…I want you to stay."_

_"Why? You know what I told you earlier. People have a habit of dying around me."_

_"You saved our lives. Yes, some people died, but…Alice, please."_

_"You're begging me?"_

_"It's not just that fact. We haven't seen any new people in months, let alone someone who can use guns, and weapons and…"_

_"Freak of nature mind powers. Yeah, I get what you mean."_

_"Not like that, but…"_

_"It's fine. I'll…I'll stay." Claire turned to meet the dirty blonde's blue eyes with her olive ones._

_"You will?"_

_"You're the one asking me."_

_"What's that supposed to mean?"_

_"You're a good leader; I'll leave it at that." Alice winked just once, smiling as she got up to her feet. Claire's brows furrowed before she followed suit. Alice had started to walk away from the gas pumps, taking long strides. Claire struggled to keep up._

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><p><em> "What on earth do you mean?"<em>

_"As I said, you're a good leader."_

_"And you winked?" Claire chuckled slightly, finally standing ahead of Alice, blocking her path. Alice crossed her arms over her chest, and one brow rose higher than the other._

_"Care to make something of it, Redfield?"_

_ Claire was about to reply with a rather witty remark, when she heard a loud explosion. Her eyes went wide as she saw the sight behind them. Right where they had been moments earlier, the gas station had suddenly exploded. Whatever fuel had been left was now used as an accelerant for the flames that were spreading towards where the convoy's trucks were parked. People began screaming as the wind carried the bright orange flames and the charcoal smoke towards them. Alice turned around after seeing Claire's expression, and she lunged forward. There had to be people she could save. Claire too took off, the smell of the explosion infiltrating her nostrils. "Come on!" She shouted to Alice, waving her to the other side of the small building that used to be a convenience store. The flames had yet to touch it, and the two women ran around to a sight that neither wanted to see._

_ The gas station hadn't been the first thing that was hit. The vehicles were torched, the semi truck exploded, and people were no longer people, but ashen remains. Claire let a scream escape her lips. Not again. Alice felt slightly sick to her stomach, and anger filled her veins when she saw what had caused the explosion. An Umbrella helicopter mounted with rockets had let rounds loose, and had now landed. They were coming for her, and now, everyone around was dead. Except for Claire._

_"GO! Get out of here!" Alice yelled at Claire. But she refused to move._

_"I'm not going! I can help you!"_

_"Help me! Do you see what they've done? They'll kill you too!" Alice argued, drawing her kukri blades as several black-clad Umbrella soldiers started towards them, fire behind their outlines._

_"I'm not leaving. Now give me your goddamn gun!" Alice hesitated for a second, then handed her a Nite-Tac pistol. The pair turned to face their enemies, and Claire slid back the mechanism to fire the pistol. Before she could though, something whirred through the air, past her, and to Alice. Turning, as if in slow motion, Claire saw nothing but Alice collapsing to the desert floor. A large ballistics knife was stuck in her forehead, her blue eyes left wide open. Claire felt her chest tighten as she defensively fired the Nite Tac at the soldiers, expending all fifteen rounds in the chamber, dropping them. She fell to her knees, tears stinging her eyes. Just as she had started to enjoy her company…. The lone duster coat wearing stranger by the name of Alice was dead…_

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><p>Starting awake, I gasped, catching my breath. It was just a dream. Just. A. Dream. I closed my eyes, feeling y heart beat pounding in my head. It wasn't so much that in the dream Alice had died, but the fact that it was so realistic that it felt like Alice was here. I slumped back down to the ground, hugging my knees to my chest. <em>Come on, Alice, please, don't leave me to die alone.<em>


	4. The Lonely Road

**Chapter Four: The Lonely Road**

_Alice: _

The nightmare still had me rattled even after sitting up all night. The look on Claire's face alone made me shudder. What if she was dead? What if I wasn't there to save her? What if my dream was a vision and she really was torn to pieces? The mere thought made me sick. Instead of camping out for any longer, I left before dawn. Las Vegas was not far, and I hoped maybe I could find something salvageable to drive. As much as walking was fine for me, it got a little tiring after trekking thirty plus miles every damn day. My boots were probably going to wear out before anything else, and barefoot was not something I'd want to do.

Vegas wasn't quite like I remembered back in the day when we had driven with Claire's convoy, though the memories of the carnage were vivid in my mind. The super undead that Dr. Isaacs had experimented on attacking out of the very crate my eyes settled on as I walked the main strip. The sand had really taken it. Not much was left besides the Eiffel Tower and the mock Statue of Liberty standing out green against the pale sands. Flashes of memories haunted the sight in my eyes, seeing Claire firing the Mossberg rifle, Carlos shooting his Desert Eagles, and people being eaten. Chase's body lying on the steel beam, Mikey left for dead. The looming crate was still there, and hesitantly, I took out my revolver, and walked towards it. Empty, so far. I paused, listened, and there was nothing. Empty for sure. Continuing on, I followed the road out of the place, leaving ghosts behind me. It was a lonely road, and I was stuck walking it.

Hours and hours and hours passed. I needed a vehicle, or something. At least, in this last attempt to redeem myself for Claire, I had to get there, to find out. Maybe the colony was thriving, maybe things were okay. Maybe people had settled down, started repopulating the earth. Oh. A thought went through my head. What if Claire settled down with someone else? She could've done it. Married even, had a child with some man. The thought made me sick. What we had was something else. I didn't want to admit it then, but I realised now after feeling heart ache for so long that I was in love with Claire. Why else would I feel this way? I was jealous of a man that might not even exist.

Then there was the possibility that the colony was as decrepit as the rest of the world. I knew Claire if she was still alive that she would feel the guilt. That was how she was. She blamed the deaths of others on herself for not being there to protect them. I had to comfort her once, after the attack at Vegas. She never let herself break down in front of anyone before, but sitting alone with me, I let her finally cry the tears that needed to get out. We had lost so many, and at that time had been about to lose Carlos. K-mart had cried herself to sleep in Claire's arms, and I remember Claire sitting there, doing her best to hold her own tears in.

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><p><em>Alice watched on as Claire walked, carrying the slim blonde teenager in her arms. She was asleep, tear stains on her cheeks. The redhead walked, boots churning aside the sand. Alice was settled in against the side of the Hummer truck, hands over her bent knees, sitting on her bedroll. Claire gently opened the backseat door to the truck, set K-mart down, and closed the door softly. She would let her sleep. Claire then sat next to Alice and kept her gaze on the small fire the dirty blonde had going.<em>

_"How are you holding up?" Alice asked out of the blue._

_"As good as I can be."_

_"Which isn't a lot?"_

_"Al," She paused, burying her face in her hands. "I failed them. All of them."_

_"Claire, it's not your fault." She put a comforting hand on the other woman's shoulder. "It's none of our faults. If anyone should feel guilty, it's me. I'm the one with the abilities to stop the undead, and I – "_

_"Don't you even dare say that!" Claire hissed back, her voice wavering with a sob. "I lead these people! These people trust me and my decisions and I agreed to this!"_

_"Claire, we had no idea this was going to happen!" Alice retorted back, turning to face Claire fully, making eye contact._

_"There are people who are dead because of me! Mikey, LJ, Chase! They are all dead, Alice, there's no getting them back!" Claire was yelling now, clearly upset, letting her emotions out in ways that Alice had never seen before in the time she had come to know her._

_"I know that! But's not your fault!" Alice was trying to keep a level head in this, but it was becoming increasingly difficult as Claire grew more and more angrily upset._

_"You can't even begin to understand! If we had been more careful, then those things never would've escaped and, and…"_

_"I do understand." Alice growled lowly, meeting Claire's teary olive eyes. "I just think you need to let this go."_

_"Let it go? Let it go! Alice, Carlos is going to die because of this!"_

_"That…was nowhere near being your fault. That was LJ and he's dead because of it. He lied, Claire…it could've been K-mart, it could've been any one of us."_

_ Claire fell silent for a long while, sniffling back her tears. Alice's hand was still on her shoulder, and slowly, she let that hand venture to the other shoulder, and her arm was around Claire, who had hunched up a little bit. "Claire, just…it's okay to feel this way." Alice toned down her harsh tone to a soft whisper in her ear. "It's okay." Claire turned then, burying her face in the slender woman's shoulder, her thin brown shirt soaking up her tears. She cried and cried, trying to muffle her sobs in Alice's clothes, but it still wasn't working. She couldn't stop crying, even after the fire had long died out. Alice simply held her close, rubbing her back, and eventually holding her arms around her until the woman simply cried herself to sleep. Alice didn't dare move, even if she felt her left arm go numb during the night. The blonde didn't need sleep; she'd stay up, protecting the convoy's leader when she needed it most._

* * *

><p><em>Claire:<em>

Another morning came, the sun trickling over the hovering fog around the bay. I hadn't slept at all after that nightmare. I was shaken, disturbed, and rattled. My eyes felt heavy, but I didn't want to sleep again. Not after that episode. I went to the bay at the edge of where the colony used to lie. Crouching, I splashed my face with the cold ice water, waking myself up. It was slightly refreshing to feel the cool droplets linger on my cheekbones, dribbling down after a moment's pause. Walking back, I glanced around the colony. Nothing had been left after everyone died. Food supplies dwindled and anything else we found in a nearby ghost town was long used up. I walked to the cabin where K-mart and I used to inhabit. Gathering the courage I had long lost, I took a breath, walked to the door and opened it. The pine boards creaked with the use after so long, and the floorboards did much the same under the weight of my feet. The cabin had a musty smell to it from lack of fresh air. It was nearly empty, not furnished fully. There were just a few chairs around the fireplace, a small handmade table, and a bedroom with a bed stolen from the town. My eyes drifted to the spot where K-mart's body had been, and a memory flashed before my eyes, seeing the clean gunshot where she had pressed the muzzle to her throat and fired. Alice had taught her all too well.

I really shouldn't blame that on Alice. No one ever thought K-mart of all people would end up offing herself. Alice had simply taught her how to fire a gun to protect her from the undead and to do it well without wasting ammunition. It was a valuable lesson in my own opinion, one that I should've given her when I first met K. But back then, I had wanted to preserve her innocence. She was a young teen who grew up in the apocalypse, never knowing what it would be like to live a normal life. She was like a daughter to me, a kid sister. The loss was a burden that I would forever have riding on my shoulders.

* * *

><p><em> The night was dark and cloudy, moonless and starless. Fog hung about the bay like it always did as spring was arriving<em>. _Fresh graves were marked by the edge of the woods. Claire stood, looking over them. Another family, dead. That was two in a month. Gone, just like that. This time they had died of influenza; something in the normal world that was never considered fatal. Weak immune systems got to the elderly and the children. It was a sad sight, but the leader of the convoy had to deal with it, keeping her strong prolific face on the outside. On the inside, she was hurting. She still had one person to keep strong for; K-mart._

_Walking back to the one cabin that was still inhabited by humans, the redhead yawned, wanting to turn in for the night, hoping to actually sleep tonight. She kicked off her muddy boots by the door, and knocked before she opened the pine door slowly. "K-mart, I'm – "_

_The sight before Claire had her stomach tightening in knots. The once happy and bubbly blonde teenage girl was slumped against the corner of the cabin, blonde staining slowly all the way against the tank top that Claire had let her borrow. Claire's Glock-17 was left on the floor to K's right, and the fire was dwindling. Claire's face fell as she ran inside, sliding down onto her knees. "God, K-mart, no…please, no." She felt tears welling in her eyes from the sight as she wrapped her arms around the girl, and held her. She was long gone, even as Claire refused to believe it. She checked for a pulse, the wound still bloody and dripping. The bullet exited out the back of her skull, leaving a gory mess of brain matter and flesh on the wood walls, staining them a dark red. Claire's hot tears stung her eyes, creating more. They poured out of her tear ducts, dripping onto K-mart's face. She sobbed body racking sobs. The pain that struck Claire was like nothing she had ever felt before. Losses always hurt her, but this was a loss that struck close to home. After Chris had died, K-mart had been the only family she had left. And now she was gone…_

* * *

><p>I glanced to the wall where some of the blood stain was left, and shook my head. I couldn't stay here. Not with the images so vivid in my head even after so long. I couldn't. I just couldn't. Bending down, I grabbed my pistol; the one that K-mart had only left with one round in it. "For me." I said aloud. At this point, I hadn't considered suicide as an option. Gathering an extra shirt, and a full sleeved jacket, I gave the cabin a once over, and walked out the door towards the south. I wasn't going to stay anymore. It would be a lonely road, but the colony's grounds provided too many horrible memories. Giving one last look, I turned my head and began my journey to find the one thing I was still living for: Alice Abernathy.<p> 


	5. All That I'm Living For

**Chapter Five: All that I'm Living For**

_Alice: _

Sundown arrived quicker than I liked, but for me, it was alright. I was walking through the darkness. Unlike before, there wasn't anything that you had to worry about attacking you in the night. It was dead silent, pun intended. It was odd to feel safe at this time of night, but somehow the sense in my body that detected threats was still. Not even a buzz, zilch. I almost wondered if I had died, and was now just a ghost or something. But pinching my arm every once and a while brought me back.

I was a good thirty miles out of Vegas. This journey was going to take me weeks, if not at least a month to get there. I needed a vehicle, but none were to be found. Miles in between rusted wrecks left to rot out were scattered along the roadways. I'd have to hit up a major highway, which was what I was intent on hitting in the next three hours or so. Regardless, I'd drive anything as long as it ran, even for an hour. An hour in a moving car or truck covered a lot more miles than an hour on foot. At night the air seemed more tranquil, and with the moon for light, it was a peaceful change from the beat down the sun gave the desert. I glanced up as my feet hit the asphalt, and saw an old billboard that had yet to rot away. The picture was only partially there, but from what I could tell, the woman was wearing aviators. My mind immediately thought of Claire again. It seemed every little thing brought back each moment we had together.

* * *

><p><em> The fire cackling still, Claire finally awoke in Alice's arms. What alarmed her most was the fact that she had broken down to the point of needing comfort. Jolting back, she sat with her back against the cold metal of the Hummer's door. It was the middle of the night, and the night air hit her when she wasn't in the warmth of Alice's grasp. Alice had expected that reaction, and simply took it as it was. Claire needed a moment, and that was fine. <em>

_ Claire slid on her aviators as she sat gazing at the flames. It was a habit, and she didn't want Alice reading her eyes like an open book. The woman had already seen her break down and cry. No one else in the convoy had seen her cry, ever. Not in all the years the world had ended. Leaders did not show weakness. But somehow, Claire felt safe enough to trust Alice to let the blonde see her in such a vulnerable position, and the fact alone scared the hell out of her. Why did she trust Alice so much? They had only known each other for a week at most, and yet Claire had never felt this way about someone so soon. _

_ Alice had that ever present and all-knowing smirk on her face as she tried to peer into the dark lenses of Claire's glasses.  
><em> _"You know, you look a little ridiculous with those on in the middle of the night." She chuckled a little, attempting to lighten the mood. It caused Claire to smile a little, but she refused to take them off. Alice held her gaze, fully knowing that Claire was looking right back at her regardless. Their faces weren't that far apart, and Alice reached up with her right hand and slid the aviators of the redhead's face to her surprise. She tucked the one arm of the glasses back into Claire's shirt between the slight cleavage, which Alice also took the liberty of looking at briefly before meeting Claire's green eyes. The women held their gazes and for a moment, it was silent, and still, until Alice moved her hand up to cup Claire's cheek. The convoy leader's eyebrows furrowed a tad, and then Alice closed the gap until her lips were on Claire's. At first, Claire didn't react, but as the kiss itself deepened, she found her body wanting to respond, which it did. She pressed her skin against the hand on her cheek, and increased the pressure of the kiss between them. A break for air occurred for a second from Alice's side, but it didn't last long as Claire then moved in for another, capturing the other woman's lips between hers. It was softly passionate, though in Claire's mind, it was getting the point across without a word._

_ They broke again, this time both needing a breather. Alice's smirk had transformed to a genuine smile, and her hand remained on Claire's face.  
>"Alice," Claire chuckled, shifting so that she was kneeling in front of Alice as opposed to sitting right beside her. "You know what would make me feel better?" She too smirked, leaning in over Alice's slender frame.<em>

_"What would that be?" Alice played along even though she knew what the response was going to be. She let her hands rest over the other's curved waistline, gently tugging her long sleeve shirt off her shoulders._

_"You, me, right here and now…" Claire waggled her brows, and she inched in close again, kissing Alice with all she had. Once her shirt was slipped off her back, she lowered herself down onto Alice's lap as her tongue slid out across Alice's chapped lips. The dirty blonde gave her eager permission, and their tongues intertwined as hands began to strip clothing, being careful not to rip anything as clothes were in short supply. Part of Alice almost wanted to say no to this; that it wasn't worth the risk of actually feeling something for another person, to care for them, and to allow room for mistakes to save the other's life and let love complicate it. But as the beautiful convoy leader sat astride her, Alice's eyes could barely take it all in. Claire was breath taking, and Alice just had to have her. There was no going back._

* * *

><p><em>Claire:<em>

Maybe it was crazy, trying to find a woman who could be dead and buried in a ditch somewhere. Maybe it was crazy that I had left the safe haven of Arcadia in Alaska. Who knew what would be lurking out there? I didn't, that was for sure. And, to make matters worse, I only had one bullet; one bullet just in case to take the easy way out. Crazy, I know, but I was losing my mind being alone in the wilderness. At least this journey had intent to do something, a purpose. This was the first time my life had served me something useful for the past five years. Alice had to be out there, didn't she? She was Immortal, or so she thought. Immortals did not die, or at least, not very easily.

Day felt like it was everlasting, even after every footfall and every mile, the sun was never going to fade away. The sky was cloudless, and with my jacket, I felt hot. Taking it off, I slung it over my shoulder. The breeze that came afterwards felt nice, like a relief. Though the northern weather was nothing like Nevada had been. It was dirty, dusty, and dry and along with a layer of grimy sweat covering your face, it was a dreadful experience. At least Alaska was still on the ocean, and we could bathe. The first time I took a bath in the bay, I never felt better. It was nearly orgasmic after so long. Though, the feeling of an actual orgasm was something I missed. Alice was one of the few in my life who had done it. She always had this experienced ease, and in the midst of it all, always held that stoic smirk. I remember the first time that night in the desert, the first feeling of ecstasy for the first time since the world had ended.

* * *

><p><em>Claire had wound up underneath Alice on the desert floor, sand warm against her skin from where Alice had been holding her all night. Kisses were placed crushingly against her lips, and hands moved all over her body until Alice gave into her begging, slipping not one, but two fingers into her warmth. Her arm seemed to move incredibly quickly, and Alice made sure Claire was looking her in the eyes as she brought her over the edge. The redhead bit her lip to keep from crying out and chancing waking K-mart who was still asleep in the backseat of the yellow SUV. <em>

_ Bodies still pressed together, Alice let her weight rest on Claire for a moment. Her breaths were laboured, and eyes half closed. Claire reached up after, brushing back Alice's sandy shaggy mop of hair from her face._

_"Al…" She smiled after coming down at long last from her pleasure high. "That was,"_

_"What we have is…"_

_"It's great, Alice. You're great." Claire chuckled, nibbling on her top lip a little as she kissed her again._

_"Don't even begin…" She paused, voice in a low tone. Claire was slightly confused as Alice slowly moved back, gathering her clothes. It was now earlier in the morning, and people would soon start to wake up once the sun rose. "You're beautiful."_

* * *

><p>Those two words lingered in my head. The way Alice had said it, with that raspy and weathered voice of hers, I knew she meant it. Looks were one thing, but I knew too that she meant me as a person. I missed the way her eyes met mine, and the way she smiled after we had made love the first time. It was genuine, and never before had I seen it, and there was never a time after that I saw it until after she spent the night with me. It was the smile that made my heart leap. Seeing her so happy and enjoying the experience of being together was priceless.<p>

And so was the smile that filled my face when I came up to another town, and there was a mid-sized Ford Ranger left in front of a house in relatively good shape. I approached it, glancing around just out of old habit, but there were no hidden undead anywhere. The passenger's side window was open, so I unlocked the door, slid across the seat to the driver's side and unlocked that door as well. Searching and rooting through the dashboard and the glove box, I searched for keys. There had to be keys somewhere, and as I went to get out almost giving up, there they were, on the floor beneath the seat. Sitting up excited now, I shoved the keys in, and tried it. At first there was a spark of the engine beginning in the meters on the dash, but then the lights faded. I hit the lever, and popped the hood, rushing out to look around the engine. Remembering how to fix an engine was something that was branded into my brain. Soon, I realised what the problem was. The wires to the battery were loose and filthy. Taking my jacket I cleaned the grime off, plugged them back in and went to start it. It chugged and chugged, but finally it started. Out of habit, I adjusted the mirror, and on my face, I was smiling. For the first time in a long time, things were starting to look up.


	6. Paths We Take

**Chapter Six: Paths We Take**

_Alice:_

Pavement hot beneath my feet, I felt the sweat grow between my shoulder blades and down my back. The sun was now peaked high in the sky. Midday was the worst time to be walking out in the desert, but I wasn't going to let that stop me. Nothing was going to stop me from making it to Alaska. I just wished everything wasn't so empty and desolate. It wasn't exactly encouraging to say the least, but with Claire on my mind, I was able to focus on that, and seeing her face again.

She was a beautiful woman, even covered in sweat and grime with dirt covered clothes. With her silken red hair that went down to her back with the complimentary olive green eyes that I could stare into forever, I felt like I was one of the luckiest people left in the world to be able to have her all to myself. Slightly shorter than I was, she held curves worthy of being a goddess. Her smirk alone was arousing in its own right and when she added it with her suggestive gaze she frequently gave to me across the fires at night was even worse. I don't know how I managed to control myself half the time. I thought that she sometimes did it intentionally, trying to get me going. In turn, I used to give her the same look back and sometimes licked my lip ever so slowly. That got to her most of the time, though it sometimes took a bit more effort with shrugging off my duster coat, kicking off the boots, and taking off one shirt, showing a bit more skin. By that time, she was all over me. With Claire, I felt we had a hidden chemistry that we were just starting to chip away at in our relationship.

And now, if she was still alive, we were apart by hundreds, if not a thousand miles. The never ending desert was starting to take its toll on my sanity after so long. I had a goal to accomplish, but yet I felt a piece of my heart slowly withering away, corroded from the sands of the desert. For a while, I thought my emotions had been stunted; dried up by the heat. But now, having the epiphany about trying to find Claire and the others, I was feeling waves hit me over and over again. For the first time in years, I felt a tear well up, which I quickly batted away. I didn't need dehydration to hit me. One foot after the other, I told myself. One foot after the other will bring me closer to her. Just keep walking. She would be there, she had to be.

* * *

><p><em> "You're the most perfect person I've ever known, and I mean that." Alice whispered as Claire curled up into her arms for the third night in a row. The convoy leader rested her head on Alice's shoulder, and gazed up, meeting her blue eyes.<em>

_"I'm far from perfect."_

_"No, you're not. For what's happened to the world, you're doing the very best that you can…"_

_"Still."_

_"Claire, please. Even if you won't believe it," Alice paused, her voice nothing more than a barely audible whisper. "You are perfect to me, and that is why I love you."_

* * *

><p><em>Claire:<em>

Driving never felt so good in my life. It was not a chore, but a lifesaver. Miles I could not imagine covering in a day, I was covering in mere hours. The truck's fuel mileage was much better compared to the Hummer. Yes, it was smaller, and offered less protection, but the point was, I had a vehicle. And it wasn't like there were any undead that hadn't rotted away into nothingness from the vicious sands. I had found a highway, and I was fairly sure I had cross the border into British Columbia. It was hard to tell, being that the landscape and the trees all looked the same, but the coast line changed up a bit with more beaches and less rock outcrops.

Hours went by, and I spent them driving down the open highway going well over eighty miles per hour, covering a lot of ground. Windows down, I let the breeze rift through my hair. The only thing that would've made the experience more perfect would've been a pack of cigarettes, but ever since Salt Lake City, I'd given up on finding any ever again. Smokes, alcohol, and even drugs were never going to be easily accessible anymore. A shame, really. But there was nothing to do about that, and I kept my eyes on the road. I debated driving through the night, but I needed to sleep at some point. Pulling off as evening began to settle, I simply parked the truck, locked the doors and rolled up the windows, and laid out in the bench after taking a few nibbles from the dried up squirrel I had brought with me. It wasn't much, but enough to hold me over. I was sure when I hit the border at Washington that there'd be a town to raid and maybe find some supplies. Closing my eyes, I put my cap over my face, and let out a content sigh. Four more days. Four more days were left to find Alice, and I was determined to do so.

* * *

><p><em> Claire looked back at Alice, eyes opening fully as she moved out of the dirty blonde's strong hold to meet her face to face. Alice looked concerned. She had just declared her love for the convoy leader. Was it too much? Claire leaned down and reached her hands over to put them on both sides of Alice's face before kissing her deeply without taking a breath, never pulling back until she really couldn't breathe.<em>

_"_ _I…love you too, Alice…"_


	7. Lost In Paradise

**Chapter Seven: Lost in Paradise**

_Alice: _

The Nevada days never ceased to burn down on me. I was growing tired of walking. I wanted to stop. I wanted to just lay down, and waste away to nothing. Under the hot sun, I had to stop, sweat covering my skin. Breaths laboured, I glanced around. Heat simmered off the pavement, and burned through the soles of my worn out boots. I slid off my shirt, not caring that I was now half naked. There was no one to see me anyway. Walking forward, the sun burned into the pale skin of my back, and I took a brief sip of water from the canteen at my hip. I had to push through this. I still had Claire, didn't I? She'd still be alive? Maybe the heat was getting to, but I was seeing all our memories flash in my mind, the fires of the night, the Hummer, the convoy, K-mart, everything. The heat didn't let up, and walking another few hundred metres, I finally collapsed to my knees. I never thought that heat stroke would get to me, even with my powers. Looking down, I grasped at the particles of sand, letting them sift through my fingers. What was even real anymore?

* * *

><p>Glancing up, I squinted, the sun blinding. In the distance, there was a figure, slowly trudging through the sand dunes alongside the highway. I looked again, and it drew closer. Red vest, blue ripped jeans, and boots. She had flowing long red hair now down to her waist. My jaw hung open. It couldn't be. It couldn't. Curves like no other, long confident strides. My heart rate began to race as she drew closer. It was Claire. I slowly stood, a lopsided smile growing on my face. I didn't mind the fact that I was naked from the waist up; Claire looked like she was smirking about it, that and how sunburned I was getting. She stood in front of me, beautiful as ever. I reached out to touch her face-<p>

And then she was gone.

I grasped at the air, the feeling in the pit of my stomach like I was going to be sick. I fell back to my knees again. I was starting to lose it. That had just been a figment of my imagination, product of the heat stroke. But she had seemed so, so real. So close to me, like I could feel her breath on my skin, her eyes gazing over me, and her smell in my nostrils. Turning to the side, I retched up what was in my stomach, which of course was next to nothing. I tossed my shirt back on; no sense in getting too sunburnt, and stood, slowly. I downed what was in my canteen, and then stumbled about until I found a few cacti to serve as brief shade. I sat down, glanced out into the horizon. Claire had to be out there. I couldn't give up, not now. Not yet.

* * *

><p><em>Claire:<em>

The border to the United States arrived faster than I had imagined. I guess driving faster and faster once the roads got better helped out with that. It was evening, but I didn't dare feel like stopping. Not yet. Though, the town seemed relatively untouched. Eerily cool, and calm. The buildings were in decent shape, mostly built for the cold winters. Coniferous trees bordered the outside of the town. I drove up to the main strip, avoiding parked cars. If I could siphon the gas, it'd be brilliant, but I needed to find a decent hose and a jerry can. Though, finding a hardware store, I parked, and walked out. My Glock was on my hip, though I had no intentions of using it. _Not yet._

The hardware store reminded me of the K-mart that I had found Dahlia in. I had been the only person to ever know her real name. She absolutely hated it, and I wondered why, but obeyed her wishes, and she stuck with being K-mart. The glass sliding doors were broken in, probably from when the infection started in the Midwest and people panicked. However, inside, shelves were still upright, and they weren't entirely cleared out, to my surprise. I walked in, grabbing a shovel, work gloves and boots, socks, all from the back where they used to keep clothing. I walked around the corner, and there was a sledge hammer laid out across the floor. Grabbing everything, I headed back out, grabbing a jerry can, and a hose which I cut up with one of the saws. Finding numerous vehicles in the parking lot, I began to siphon the gas, slowly. It was a lot harder than I remembered doing. The vehicles here still had some fuel, but not a lot. Half a jerry can. But still, it was better than running bone dry, stuck in the middle of nowhere. Packing up what I had taken, I got back into the truck, and drove off yet again. Day four was upon me now, and hope was starting to fade. I wanted to find Alice, but my faith was wearing thin.

* * *

><p>The drive out of the border town was rather serene; trees, and grasslands still existed, though I noticed less of it was a fresh green, and rather a dried khaki. Crop fields had been decimated, but the mountains still stood tall. I drove along the coast, the salty air filling my lungs as I opened both the windows. Cars had been moved to the sides of the road for the most part, and I stayed in the fast lane. Time flew by in a blur I was driving so fast. At this point, what did it matter? Wherever Alice had wound up, I was hoping to find her, still hopefully in one piece.<p>

That brought up another point. What if she had been captured by Umbrella? What if she had been experimented on for a third time? Would she still be the same? Would I be able to get her back? Would she remember anything?

It made me think of when she first found me in the wilderness, with one of those scarab devices that the Umbrella grunts had stuck me with when we arrived at what we thought was Arcadia with the colony. I remember the first time I saw her face, and began to remember who she was. I never told her then, but the first thing I remembered after being apart for that long year and a half, was how her piercingly bright eyes had dilated, sandy blonde hair blowing in the wind as an invisible force erupted from her mind, saving Carlos and the girl from the flames. I remember very vividly how the sky lit up in orange, red, and black hues. I remember… I remember her falling to her knees from the vigour of it all. But most of all, I remember the glint in those Bermuda blue eyes of hers when I told her I remembered who she was, and what we were. That I'll never forget.


	8. Far From Home

**A/N: First of all, I apologise for the lateness of this update. I've had a lot of personal instances and school come up, and this has been put on the backburner. However, the story is almost finished, and chapter nine will be posted sooner rather than later.**

**And I blame the influence for this chapter on the band, Five Finger DeathPunch and their song 'Far From Home.'**

**Also, please review and read.**

**Here she goes...**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Eight: Far From Home<strong>

_Alice:_

Another three days had gone by since I saw the mirage in the heat of the desert, and the image of Claire had yet to leave my mind completely. I kept seeing her eyes meeting mine, just like the first time we had had sex together. The need in her face disappearing as I fulfilled it for her. Just as she had returned the favour to me.

Trudging through day in day out, I felt no need to sleep again. Sure, I had hallucinated in the heat, but that wasn't stopping me. In fact, I'm pretty sure it was some sick sense of encouragement. Maybe my dreams and hallucinations were actually visions. With the virus having been in my blood, who knew what else it was capable of.

By the third day's afternoon, I had made it way out of Arizona. I had to be. The landscape had begun to change from pure desert, to something with a bit more vegetation than usual. The air felt cooler, and I was able to walk without getting quite the sweat.

* * *

><p>It was growing on in the day. Morning became noon hour, noon became the afternoon, and the afternoon faded early into the evening, the sun setting over the western coast. The ocean wasn't too far off, and the air around had changed from being dry, to slightly humid. I continued to walk, never minding the stiffness my body was going through from doing this nonstop. I could wait until I found Claire. To me, she was the only thing keeping me going, the only thing worthwhile to go after in this hellish purgatory. There was nothing else for me to fight for. Umbrella was decimated, and even if there were any stranglers left behind, they surely wouldn't still carry their loyalty to the fallen corporation. There wouldn't be enough of the lackeys anyway to come up with a decent force. At least, I hoped they didn't. Sure, I could take them on, but yet at the same time, what was the point? Maybe it would be a fitting end for us all. To simply wither away by the hands of our own humankind when the rest of the world was ravaged by a biological virus. Was it worth it, to stay?<p>

_For Claire,_ I reminded myself. I had to hold on to something. She was what I had left in this world. A diamond in the rough, the silver lining, my love. Love. If felt so odd to say it, to think it, and yet, what I was feeling to keep me going? I soon realised that it was love. Pure and honest love, love that I had never felt towards anyone. Until now.

* * *

><p>Picking up my pace, I decided to jog the next while, utilising my long stride to cover lots of ground. My joints at first complained from lack of proper use or rest, but soon, I put the pain to the back of my mind. I panted after a good hundred yards of solid ground, but continued on, picking up the pace to a run, then to a sprint. I was heading north, farther and farther. The clear air helped my lungs to breathe deeply, and soon I was in a pace. I must've run a mile, maybe two or more until I came to another town. It was still small, and abandoned, but it felt safe. I had no prickling at the back of my neck, no hairs on end, and no twisted feeling in my gut.<p>

And yet, something felt different. Maybe it was still the change in atmosphere. Maybe it wasn't. Something felt off, and I was determined to figure out what it was.

* * *

><p><em>Claire: <em>

The endless road never seemed to end. Miles upon miles of empty pavement that had cracked apart after years of no maintenance crumbled under the truck's tires. I had only been able to siphon so much gas, that after three days, it finally died, the gas meter settling on the big red E, signalling it was now empty and bone dry. I was in the middle of nowhere, and the heat was growing. There was no way in hell that I was going to push the truck, and with an exasperated sigh, I spent an hour sleeping in the cabin before departing the pick-up. It had served its purpose. Or so I hoped.

Trekking after driving for a good four hundred or five hundred miles was proving difficult. The only thing on my mind was Alice. I hadn't eaten in two days; I hadn't had water since the morning. All I could think of was her. The way she held me, the way she gazed into my eyes, the way we made love… it was all coming back in memories, painful memories. A few times, I hallucinated that she was within grasp, and to my sheer disappointment, it was only a figment of my imagination.

* * *

><p>My fingers often reached for the pistol on my hip. The sole round was forever a reminder that I had that option as well. What was the point? To walk around in circles across the country? How the fuck did I know if Alice was alive even? What if she had taken her own life in the end? Hell, she had been broody enough to do it if she had the chance. What with feeling guilty for this entire thing? She had that weight of the world on her shoulders, guilt, blame, seeking redemption… it made perfect sense for her. But for me?<p>

I had nothing left to lose. Nothing. Nothing but my sanity, my dignity. And as it stood, I was losing my mind. The one woman I loved was gone. She had left me. Maybe she knew it was for the better. Maybe she knew the colony never would've lasted. Maybe it was for the best. But why she hadn't taken me with her puzzled me. It was the only thing left unanswered, the only thing I needed to settle peace with. But if I couldn't find Alice and get that one last request, surely I'd be turning over in my grave, if I even had the pleasure to dig myself a grave.

* * *

><p>Hours passed, and night began to fall upon the land once more. The moon was out in full tonight, giving an eerie bluish-green light upon the small town I was approaching. The buildings were decimated, the streets piled with broken down cars, and the vegetation non-existent. It looked like a ghost-town of the old west. Walking down the main street, I glanced around to the centre square, finding a bench to sit. I glanced up at the stars, wondering if Alice was doing the same, or if she was up there in some kind of heaven. I used to believe in heaven, living a religious life not so long ago. But now, all the faith I once possessed was gone.<p>

I slowly reached for the pistol out of its holster, the black Glock-17's weight familiar in my palm. I pulled the magazine back out to just check the round for good measure. The brass coloured bullet was still there, intact as I had left it. I slid the mechanism back into place, turning the safety off. I glanced up at the moon one more time, inhaling deeply. Whatever afterlife was out there, I was about to embrace it, and embrace it quickly.

* * *

><p>Lifting the pistol in my right hand, I first put it to my temple, closing my eyes tightly. I treaded the trigged, and then moved it down. Not a head shot. At least if by some grace I was found, they'd maybe be able to figure out who I was. I felt the cold muzzle trace down my jugular vein towards my heart. I tore back my shirt, leaving the skin open and bare. I took in another deep breath, my eyes prickling with tears. The journey that I had taken so far, to such an extreme was over. I was so far from where I had considered to be home after the world ended. Far away from the one woman I loved, and hopefully I'd be seeing her again in some sick allusion to <em>Romeo and Juliet<em> where they killed themselves to have each other. I looked up again, muttering the words in a last prayer to whatever God existed, if it did as my finger edged the trigger, slowly putting more and more pressure down. This was it, this was the end…

_"Father, forgive me, for I have sinned…"_


	9. Close, Closer, Closest

**A/N: To all my readers of this story, I have to say thank-you for the reviews and subs/favs. It's really made it fun to check my email after updating. This has to be one of the most emotionally driven things I have ever written, and this chapter just about tops all my feels. Aberfeels to be exact. **

**To Andrea, when you read this, you may or may not want to never speak to me again, but this is the karma for all of your fanfictions that make us cry and disgustingly sob all over the place. But we can still be friends, yes?**

**And lastly, I mostly listened to 'The Long Road Back' from the Spirit: Stallion of the Cimmaron after the second minute onwards to write this. If you want to listen to it and read it, I recommend tissues. This has been great, and I'll stop this AN nonsense now.**

**Read, review, and enjoy the final chapter of 'Closer'.**

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><p><strong>Chapter Nine: Close, Closer, Closest<strong>

_Alice:_

The feeling I had in my stomach for the past half hour wondering around the small town began to increase. I couldn't tell what it was from. Maybe it was the hunger pains. I wasn't too sure. After all, I had never suffered from them either before. Perhaps I was finally growing worn down, and losing all the strength that I had left in my system. I still considered it to be a possibility that maybe even over time, I could be whittled down to nothing.

Then, I glanced up, nearing the middle of the town, worn-out buildings on both sides of the street, and I saw a flash of red-orange glancing up at the stars above. I blinked. Were my eyes deceiving me? Was I dreaming again?

No.

It couldn't be.

Claire?

"Claire?" I yelled just in time to hear the sickening sound of a gunshot echo through the desolate town before me. I felt my heart in the back of my throat, seeing the figure on the bench suddenly slump over. No. No! This couldn't be real, could it? Was I dreaming? Running forward, I stumbled a bit over my own feet, moving headlong for the figure on the bench. As I drew closer and closer, I felt my stomach clench, my throat dry up, and my eyes begin to water.

* * *

><p>It was Claire, wearing the same clothes I had last seen her in: red vest, jeans, and her favourite pair of boots. I dropped the pack of my things off my shoulder, letting it hit the ground with an ominous thud. I ran to her side. <em>No, please no…<em>

By this time, she had slumped over in the bench, and I wrapped my arms around her body, feeling her warmth in my grasp for the first time in so many years I had lost track of. Barely able to contain the tears, I gently brushed back her auburn hair from her face, her eyes closed. "Oh Claire," I whispered softly. My heart was wrenching. Glancing down, I saw the familiar Glock-17 now on the ground, out of her grasp, and a red pool of blood forming through her clothes. I wanted to find the source, but at the same time, if she had intended to kill herself, then surely, her aim would've been sadly too true. She had always been a good shot.

"Claire," I whispered again, shifting my hold on her to move her into my arms and across my lap. I could feel my tears rolling down my gaunt cheeks, landing on her still and pale face below me. I had been too late. One minute too late. Regret was building in my heart. What if I had never left in the first place? Maybe if I had stayed, we could've been… together. Happy. In love.

It made me wonder why she had come all this way, alone, with little to no supplies. Perhaps there was nothing left in Arcadia. She wouldn't have left the colony if there wasn't. Something had to have gone wrong. Maybe Umbrella attacked again, maybe the virus went that far north, I had no idea. It made me think of K-mart, wondering if she too was gone with the others. I let out a sole sob, leaning down to kiss Claire one last time. I slowly drew back, her lip still warm against mine. "I'm so sorry, Claire… so, so sorry, my love…"

"A-Alice?"

* * *

><p><em>Claire:<em>

_ It all felt like a dream, the cold gun in my hand, the bullet searing through my flesh. In my mind, I was gone, the pain nonexistent, as if the adrenaline had already kicked in. Everything was black, and I felt nothing, not even the last breath escape me…_

_ Then I heard it; the call of my name from an old, familiar voice. The touch soon touched my skin and I was shifted in a hold, strong arms around me, holding me close. There was a touch to my lips, and I knew, I knew I was alive. Opening my eyes, there was a face close to mine, a look of shock upon its fine features, stuck in stone like a marble statue. _

"A-Alice?" I croaked out. I began to feel the searing pain in my shoulder, hot blood spilling down my chest and torso. I met Alice's steely blue eyes, glad to have finally been able to look into those gorgeous orbs once more. I whimpered with the pain, catching my breath as I noticed the tears running down Alice's face.

"Oh God, Claire…" She whispered, her hand moving my vest back, finding the wound. She took action, tearing the bottom part of her shirt above her belt off, and moved to wrap the material around my shoulder where the nine millimetre bullet had entered. I wasn't able to tell if it had exited out the other side or not, but all I could feel was a searing numbness. Alice tightened her makeshift tourniquet, and shifted me to sit up in her arms on the bench. The moon was still out, high above the town square's centre, illuminating it in the darkness with the clean grey concrete fountain. At least, I had chosen somewhere that was fairly pretty in a world of ugly endings.

* * *

><p>"Alice," I reached up with my other hand to cup her face, and she leaned into my touch. I gently stroked my thumb across her skin, and couldn't tear myself away from those eyes, the ones I always kept eye contact with when we had made love together. I remembered every last second of our times together, and of all things, that was what I remembered most. The love, the passion…<p>

"Why did you leave in Seattle?" I croaked out, feeling my voice slipping from me. Alice took a moment to respond, swallowing before she spoke.

"I thought it would've been safer for everyone. Umbrella still wanted me, or so I thought. I didn't want you to lose what we had fought for just because of me."

"But… Alice, we… everyone else… they're gone. It's just me, Alice. It's just me… they all died."

"From Umbrella?"

"No, no… they never bothered…. Sickness and suicide… K-mart, she…"

"Shhh, Claire, it's... It's okay." Alice took my hand in hers, squeezing it tightly between her fingers. I glanced up, feeling more pain in my shoulder. I grimaced, and she noticed it. I saw the look in her eyes change, the glint of hope in them fading. The gun had slipped when I heard her shout my name, but a gunshot was still a gunshot, and in this time, when neither of us had any supplies on us to fix it, or the experience to do so, I knew it was too late, and I knew Alice did too.

* * *

><p>"I… I loved you so much," I whispered, my eyes blurring with tears. Alice leaned down closer again, cradling my chin in her hand, letting go of mine. "I still… I still love you, Alice… I… I forgive you for leaving."<p>

"That's… thank you. I love you too, Claire." She whispered, her voice growing raspier. She pressed her forehead to mine, and she began to get teary-eyed again.

"I've… I've never seen you cry like this, Alice." I attempted to chuckle, but refrained. Alice's eyes kept darting to my shoulder, her hand moving to check the wound only briefly, before moving it back to my chin.

"I usually don't. After all this time, I thought my emotions might have dried up, or something." She smirked through her tears, and I felt my heart warming at the familiar expression.

"You? Emotional?" I joked, wincing again as I felt a wave of excruciating pain through my nerves. I cried out again, feeling hot blood from the wound. Alice steadied her hold on me, and I grasped onto her side for support. I knew this was going to be over, but at least I had found Alice, or rather, she had found me.

"Alice," I glanced up again, choking back the sob in my throat. "Please, just…"

"Claire, I – I can't. I couldn't do that to you."

"You know this isn't going… this isn't going to end soon enough." I gritted my teeth as I felt another bout of the pain. My vision grew blurry again. Alice moved close to me, shifting me in her arms, holding me tighter. I knew she didn't want to let go, but we both knew this was the end. She leaned in, putting her lips to mine in a passionate, yet tender kiss, one I hadn't felt since she left me in Seattle. I could barely manage to reciprocate as much as I wanted. Alice pulled back to catch her breath, moving me gently into an embrace. I rested my head on her shoulder, and she continued to gaze down at me, all our memories together running through my mind, over and over again, from the moment Carlos introduced us, to Alice finding me in Alaska, to the first night on the Arcadia celebrating our victory. It was all there, and the woman I loved was going to hold me until my last breath on this ragged earth.

"Just let me hold you," Alice whispered in my ear. "Let me hold you as long as I can, because I wasn't there for you, but I'm here now…"

"Alice," I glanced back up, her face blurry now. I could feel my breaths growing shallower with every inhale and exhale. The only thing I could see in this close that stood out were her bright eyes, and closing my own, I wanted to retain that image in my mind unto death. "I'll… I'll see you soon, baby…"

* * *

><p><em>Alice:<em>

Never in my life had I felt so torn. Not even losing Rain or Matt to Umbrella and having to kill him as Nemesis, or saying goodbye to Carlos felt so bad. I didn't want to say to Claire that I had my powers back. She needed to pass on without that thought troubling her. I wasn't even sure if an afterlife existed, but in a perfect world, there could be. Maybe I'd see her again, someday, if the heartbreak broke me down enough.

When I felt her last breath escape her lips, I slowly stood off the bench, holding her bridal-style. Her weight wasn't heavy at all to me, and I cradled Claire close to my chest, walking off into the distance of the town. I was glad the moon stayed out, and the sky clear to illuminate my path. There was a small clearing, what could've once been a park with numerous trees, and what looked like a playground. There was a small hill, near a few coniferous trees where I slowly put Claire down. I went back quickly to my pack, pulling out my coat to lay over her body, and for the time, I couldn't bury her. Not yet.

I sat down, elbows on my knees as I cried my sorrows. I had been so _close _to saving her. If I had called her name sooner, maybe she wouldn't have pulled it. Maybe if I hadn't left in the first place from Seattle, we could've had that life together in Arcadia. I was _closer_ to Claire than I had been in five years, and it was as she was dying. I glanced to the revolver at my side, and wondered if that was the answer. I moved over on the knoll of the hill, and laid down next to where I had laid Claire to rest. I glanced up at the stars, seeing numerous constellations that I could recognise without second guessing. It was a pretty view.

* * *

><p>I took out the heavy Smith and Wesson; one of my pride and joys I had left in my time away from Claire. With my left hand, I reached for Claire's from under my coat, and with her still warm hand, I interlocked her fingers. There was nothing, absolutely nothing left in this world. Sure, there might be survivors out there somewhere in small pockets, but then what? Try to find them, and rebuild the world? It was too far gone to be worth my while, and now, I had her by my side. If there was an afterlife, then so be it. And if there wasn't? Well. I had had a damned good run. I pulled the five shot revolver up before me, checking to make sure it had rounds in the chamber before cocking the hammer back, and bringing it up to my chin. This was the <em>closest<em> I was ever going to get to be with Claire, and for that after everything, I was willing to do it.


End file.
